I think I've got my first pregnancy cold. At first I thought I just woke up w/ allergies yesterday because we slept with the windows open, but as the day went on I just didn't feel that great. By bedtime, I was sneezing like crazy and had that cold feeling in my nose and face. Yuck. I normally don't take any medicine anyway, so it's not a huge deal that I am pregnant, but I just hate not feeling good. I know I can take Tylenol Cold and Sinus, but I just don't feel comfortable doing it. I don't want to give Lucas any medications and the few Tylenol I have had to take have been really hard for me to do, even though I know it's considered "safe". Hopefully it's just a quick bug.
I didn't go to work today since I know I need to be at a client's all day tomorrow for a long day so I wanted to just stay home and rest today. I was also pretty busy over the weekend so I know I didn't get a ton of rest then, so this will be good. We aren't going to our Bradley class tonight b/c I think that would be rude to sit in a small room w/ 6 other couples for 3 hours when I am sick. I would feel awful if I got anyone else sick, so I will forfeit a night of class for that, even though it kinda sucks.
In much better news, I've been feeling Lucas move a lot in the past 24 hours! Yesterday he was having a little party in there and this morning when I woke up and was just laying in bed, I swear I felt him totally flip over. It wasn't very strong or anything, but it was a different feeling than the previous "popcorn" and "pokes" I'd be feeling so I am thinking things are going to get more pronounced in the next few days to weeks. It's so amazing to feel your baby move!
I am also having a small issue with a friend. We've only met/hung our a few times, but have been a part of the wedding group on the knot, then the nest, and then spent time together on an infertility board, and of course on Facebook. I haven't checked her blog in awhile, but since I am just relaxing today I am catching up on a lot of things and wandered over there to find this written in her April 1st blog: "Not only did one friend find out the sex of her "miracle" baby (I have reservations about her being infertile)...."
I can only assume this is about me since we found out the sex on April 1st and I posted it on Facebook. Don't get me wrong, I can totally understand someone still going through infertility being hurt or jealous of anyone being pregnant and all that stuff. (though that's normally reserved for people that get pregnant by accident or easily, not for fellow infertility friends, but I guess I don't count as that). That's not it. I don't expect her to be head over heels happy for me, but I guess it just hurts that she put the word miracle in quotes, as if to question that and that she doesn't even believe I am/was even infertile. I'm sorry, but that's a pretty damn shitty thing to say. I am not even going to get into it, but I'm pretty sure if I wasn't infertile (and we actually have the same syndrome that makes us infertile, PCOS!) I wouldn't have gone through cycles of fertility drugs w/ my doctor, started with an RE to talk about IVF, and turned to traditional Chinese medicine all for the fun of it. Because trust me, 3 months of Clomid wasn't fun. I still have scars all over my body from the huge acne welts the hormones from that left. My girl parts were so effected and uncomfortable during the cycles that I couldn't even sit at times. Talking about IVF at the ripe old age of 24/25 was enough to send any woman over the edge. Spending $87 A WEEK on acupuncture and herbs wasn't my idea of a fun shopping spree, trust me.
Was I just supposed to sit for years and years not ovulating and not having a period before I am good enough to be considered infertile? Screw that. I knew my body was broken. I had the tests and could tell I wasn't ovulating. That makes it pretty damn hard to get pregnant unless you seek help. And yes, I do consider our baby a miracle in the sense that I got pregnant on my first cycle using acupuncture, herbs, and diet changes after cycles of fertility drugs that are supposed to work. That doesn't normally happen (and really, it shouldn't for various reasons) and I was fully expecting to have to do a few cycles of that just to see if my body would begin to work again. So that, combined w/ our poor timing b/c I ended up ovulating later than I originally thought that cycle, would be a miracle to me. I guess I really don't care if someone doesn't agree, but it's pretty damn offensive to have to read that.
A String On Double Bass
5 years ago
I'm sorry you have to deal with that:( Every baby is a miracle. Her comment is ridiculous. It's sad that she can't be disappointed/hurt for herself and yet still happy for you. Try not to let it bother you- she obviously has a lot of issues and unfortunately she is taking it out on you.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jennifer, it's funny b/c I would never expect someone still struggling with infertility to be all happy about my pregnancy (esp b/c we're not all that close either) so it's not like I'm crying "I'm pregnant and everyone should be happy for me WAHHH", you know? I can totally understand how much it hurts to see other people getting something you want so badly, esp since I was there. But a comment like that is just so incredibly hurtful and uncalled for. Don't mess with my baby! lol
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. I know exactly what you mean, just because you don't sit around and do nothing forever doesn't mean you don't have a fertility problem. I started charting when I went off the pill before we even started "trying" and found out I was anovulatory. I saved us months of time just waiting around, thank God. But because our first month officially TTC was a Clomid cycle, I was told my many people that I was "jumping the gun" or doing things too quickly. That's ridiculous to me because if I know there's a problem, I'm going to try my best to fix it! Looks like I was right, too, considering we're seeing an RE now into cycle 5. Do not let anyone tell you that your baby is not a miracle. He is. Try not to let it get to you... You have an entire e-network of supporters! Stay positive!
ReplyDeleteThanks Jessica - that is exactly how I feel as well and I wish you all the luck in the world. I know what if feels like to have those Clomid cycles not work at all and it's so hard since you go into it with so much hope from the start.
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ReplyDeleteChasity - your post was emailed to me, so I saw it. PCOS is the leading cause of infertility in woman my age, so yes, it does make you to be considered "infertile". And even if that's the stance you want to take, this person who said these things ALSO has the exact same PCOS diagnosis, so I guess, to you, that makes her infertile as well. either way, if you don't ovulate on your own, like me and many PCOSers, you have fertility issues.
ReplyDeleteQuestion it all you want, but I can assure my Obs (two of them, different practices), RE, fertility acupuncturist, and therapist would all disagree with you.