Why do people think that because something is important to them it must be important to other people? My husband and I are NOT religious. It's not that we don't care or aren't at all spiritual, we just don't find organized religion important to us or something we want to take part in.
I am so annoyed that someone in our family is making a big deal about this. It's come up quite a few times now that we need "pick"a religion. This person doesn't even care if it matches her religion (Catholic, which it definitely would never be since when asked my husband will say he's Jewish) but just that we pick one and raise Lucas in such a way, participate in some sort of baby ceremony, etc. Are you kidding me???? How hypocritical and awful is that? I would think people who ARE religious would have a huge problem with us just choosing one for the hell of it. How backwards.
Let me back up a bit. I am Jewish. Well, I was raised Jewish. I don't really take part in any Jewish customs and my immediate family was never all that religious growing up, but even less so now. We just aren't really into the organized religion thing. Still, I didn't just become something else, so if asked, to keep it simple, I say that I am Jewish as that is what I was born into and raised.
My husband was raised Catholic...By two parents who almost have more divorces between them than I have fingers. No, I'm not kidding. And no, I don't believe there is anything wrong with that either, however, I don't think people like that need to be telling US that our child won't have a chance to learn morals and values because we don't have a set religion that we practice. I fully realize that some people DO get their morals and values from their religion and I can respect and understand that. However, I don't, yet still have many of the same values as the next religious person. I don't feel you need religion to teach you right from wrong or to be a good person. If this were the case I think there would be a lot of pretty awful agnostic and atheist people out there and certainly that's not the case!
So no, I'm sorry, but I'm not "picking" a religion just so we can say we have one and have a ceremony that means absolutely nothing to us or our baby.
A String On Double Bass
5 years ago
I have trouble with this as well. As an agnostic/athiest (depending on when you speak to me, lol... I think I remember from my Philosophy of Religion class that "Hard Agnostic" would best describe me) I find it very frustrating to constantly be reminded to "be open-minded"... as if I'm simply biding my time until someone can figure out the best way to explain it to me so that I'll finally see the light. Gah.
ReplyDeleteI have a feeling that if I walked around admonishing religious folks to "have an open mind" I might not get such a friendly response :)
I also find the implication that I'm somehow incapable of having morals/ethics without subscribing to an organized religion quite insulting.
I agree with you that that logic you describe seems a bit backward... but so it is. Good for you for staying true to your beliefs, whatever they may be.
"I also find the implication that I'm somehow incapable of having morals/ethics without subscribing to an organized religion quite insulting."
ReplyDeleteI think this is the biggest thing that gets me about this situation. I feel the same way. Does this person (and presumably most of her family I'd think) feel that we simply cannot raise a nice child without having a baby naming in a temple, a baptism in a church, etc? I was unaware those things = nice child. I'm more concerned with love, attachment, good nutrition, safe surroundings, teaching him about the world, etc.
"I'm more concerned with love, attachment, good nutrition, safe surroundings, teaching him about the world, etc"
ReplyDeleteWell, clearly I'm biased, but I think you've got the right idea. :)
I think about these things a lot, because my partner's family is quite religious. I have a feeling I will face similar conversations one day!
I have an aunt who keeps bothering me about "picking a religion".. she has been since DH and got engaged. He is half Jewish and I was raised pretty hippy-ish going to various churches which worked out fine for me. DH and I are totally on the same page, but she insists we aren't! I keep telling her, religion is the LEAST of our problems! It is not an issue!
ReplyDeleteGood for you! I am a born again believer and I call myself a Christian and believe in Jesus and GOd and attened a Missionary Baptist Chruch, but religion isn't what's important. It's just knowing that there is a God out there and believing in Him! We(and our church) don't have any sort of religious practice that we do to babies when they are born. If they grow up and choose to accept Jesus and be baptized, then that's there choice.
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