Will I Ever Stop?

I wonder if I will ever stop inspecting TP every single time I use the bathroom, which is quite often. That has become the norm in my life since I found out I was pregnant. One thing is for sure, I'm becoming an expert on Quilted Northern!

I looked up doulas in the area today. I know it's super early, but I thought I'd contact some just to see when is a normal time frame to start the process of getting to know each other. The one I found that seemed the best also holds Bradley Method classes which I am also very interested in. I will be having a hospital birth, but I want a doula there, not only to help me out, but to be a mediator between me and the hospital and their evil drugs. I am absolutely terrified of having a medicated birth. The thought of being so numb that I can't feel when to push, therefor possibly pushing at the wrong time and causing tearing is so scary to me. And the thought of them giving me Pitocin to push me a long therefor making my contractions worse and unnatural freaks me out. I want someone there that will help me get through it naturally so we're not on our own and who will keep me safe under the care of the hospitals which seem to be medication happy.